If You Can't Trust Family...

In this episode (rather, these happenings occurred over the course of the past year or so) I've taken my second cousin, Robbi , to small claims court over the matter of $400.  But now it’s a little more than that because she paid only a portion of it, $75.  After this the amount is $325, plus a $91 filing and court costs fee.   I planned on suing also for an additional $84 in punitive damages to help cover all the time, energy and effort my various caregivers and I invested in dealing with this festering matter, having to read and respond to texts for several months.  Actually, $84 is letting her off lightly!  I only chose such an odd number because I wanted it to add up to a nice round number, so the $325 is what she still owed on the initial $400 loan, $91 is what it cost to serve her with the summons to court and $84 is just a number that I came up with because $325 plus $91 plus $84 equals $500.  Even if that's a lot for her (it would be for me too, by the way) had she listened to me throughout the bargaining process, which was done solely by texting, even at the time somehow I knew I would end up using these transcribed messages in court one day, she would have saved a lot of time and money by going ahead and settling up with me.  But did she? Hell no!  She made me do it the hard way; I'm used to that, my life is the hard way.

The tale begins the week of Christmas 2015, well actually it started from the time my Aunt Sharon, who was my first fulltime, live-in caregiver from spring of 2009 until April the following year, came back (at my request) to allow Dylan, her son who was newly on parole from prison, to come up and start helping me out to earn an honest few bucks.  Sharon gave me notice that they would no longer be able to come starting in November of 2015.  She offered to check and see if her granddaughter, Robbi, could take her place, highly recommending and vouching for her honesty and work ethic.  But of course she did, that's what grandmas do!  As it turns out, Robbi had everyone fooled, maybe not everyone but she definitely fooled me.
At the start of November of said year Robbi started coming over during Sharon’s shifts to begin learning the ropes, training how to take care of me and familiarizing herself with my day-to-day activities.  It was during this time we started working on the process of getting her signed up on the state payroll budget through the Agency on Aging's Consumer Directed Option program - of which I am a participant so that I may become an employer by which people may come into my home and help care for me and be compensated through Medicaid.  We filled out the necessary paperwork and paid the $20 fee for her background check so now I was waiting for a phone call from my Support Broker (a.k.a my case manager) giving me the go ahead to have her start filling out timesheets.  I should mention that Sharon was paying Robbi a little each time she would come so she was getting compensated some throughout the training process. 

Once I got the call from my Support Broker it was on!  Sharon stopped coming and Robbi was officially my caregiver.  That was at the end of November.   Now began the wait for her first paycheck.  I knew it could take up to a month, depending on when in the two week pay period Robbi could start claiming hours on her timesheet.  When an employee starts filling out a timesheet he or she has to wait until the end of that pay period, turn it in, then wait for another pay period to go through; then when checks get mailed out they should receive their first check.  Robbi’s if never came.

We thought there was a mix-up at the office where she had turned in her timesheet and all I could tell Robbi was that it must have gotten delayed and we would have to wait another two weeks for her first check.  I'm not sure if it was then or at the of the next two week pay period that my uncle, who, at that time was the primary administrator for the extra "family fund" set up to pay for any additional caregiving costs, and I started giving (that's right giving) her $100 just to make her feel like she was getting something for helping me out so diligently and, if nothing else, so she would have the gas money to keep driving back and forth from Winchester.  Then at the end of the next two weeks when we were fairly certain that her check would come, still nothing.  We called the office and informed them that something was definitely wrong.

That's when Robbi took it upon herself to start going up to the BGADD office select and add to perk is that and if calling Lauren, my support broker,  to light a fire under their asses to try and get to the bottom of what was causing her checks not to come.  In all the years I'd been a participant in this program I never experienced a delay like this,  it was coming close to six weeks, on a first paycheck.  But one thing I knew is that anytime there was any type of problem with paychecks my employees were supposed to communicate any complaints to me and I would contact the agency or my support broker.  I guess Robbi figured she would cut out the middle-man and just start dealing with them herself.

Unfortunately all of Robbi's phone calls to Lauren, the payroll department and the several times she went up in person to the agency yielded nothing.  By the week of Christmas she was getting desperate and I was just as frustrated and angry over their mishandling of my case to make sure my employees received their checks on time.  Robbi continued to come, working her normal shifts Monday through Friday from 10am until 2 or 3pm, as did my uncle and I kept giving her $100 every week.  Then, four days before Christmas she hit me with it: "Well...I guess me and Eric are gonna have to try and find us a loan."  Eric is her boyfriend, who, despite having a decent job, left her in disarray over the family holiday finances, or maybe it was all part of a scheme to get as much out of me as possible.   When I look back on this remark I know now Robbi was just baiting me.  She knew that I had a kind heart and that I was full of compassion and vulnerability toward her because she was family.  So later that afternoon when I saw my uncle, who knew about the hold-up regarding  Robbi's check not coming, I told him that we had to do something to help her out.  I figured that it was up to us to try and alleviate the situation by giving her a loan.  The next day that is exactly what we did.  We had already discussed an amount ($400) and how to give it to her; Tim would get the money out of the family fund and then hand me the money to then give it to Robbi.  But before I handed it over to her I made sure she understood that it was a loan and unlike what we had given her up to that point, she would be expected to pay it back.  No interest, no fees, no bullshit, just pay it back.

Christmas and New Year’s came and went without a word from Robbi, not that I was expecting anything beyond maybe a phone call of gratitude or some gesture to say thanks.  Then January rolled by, still nothing.  It was fine, it's not like I was hurting for the money or anything, nor had we ever discussed a timeline for repayment; it would just be sitting there in my family account.  Most of February passed but then something happened which piqued my interest.  Apparently Robbi had received her tax return and with it purchased a new car because I saw it on her Facebook page.  Prior to this, Sharon had mentioned in passing that Robbi always got back a large sum, like over $10,000, on her tax return.  The gall of that girl, spending thousands on a car and putting it on the internet without ever considering her debt to me!  I waited a couple more weeks to see if she would contact me but she never did.  I figured she would at least call me or send me a text to set up some type of payment plan or something.  I felt like I deserved this,2 but nothing ever came of it, which felt to me like a slap in the face.

Then the battle began, a battle of words thrown back and forth, tapped in, sent and received.  This is the type of "arguing" that I was resigned to in this, and only this, instance.  When I asked about the money for the new car Robbi told me that that was none of my business.  I tried to be nice and I wanted her to acknowledge her debt, to give me some indication when she would start paying it off, but no.  Since she didn't seem like she was going to cooperate I did have one outlet I could turn to for some help.  My cousin, David, is a detective with the Kentucky State Police but this was a relatively new position.  Before that he was a cop for the Winchester Police Department.  I called him and told him the whole ordeal and he said he would try to go talk to her.

It wasn't long after this I received my first (and only) payment from Robbi, a $75 money order.  I was happy to get this amount but I still didn't understand why she refused to communicate with me by phone.  Would this be the first among several payments and how long before the next one?  This had come at the end of February 2016, now I was exchanging many texts back and forth trying to get an idea of when I could expect another installment.  I even conjured up some terms for a plan regarding the remaining $325, to which she had loosely agreed.  Whether or not she would keep her word and honor this schedule was up to her.  My mom had recently been put in charge of the "family fund" so now she was privy of all that had occurred.  At this point I eased my questioning of Robbi and decided that I would just sit back and give her time to "save up," to get on track with a  payment schedule.

Six months went by without any more payments or texts from her.  It's not in my character to let things go without trying every avenue available to avoid getting ripped off.  My mom and I both saw this coming and we had already talked about filing the matter in small claims court.  She came in for a visit the week of her birthday and that was when we set the wheels in motion for a hearing.  I had already tried once to file in Fayette County (Lexington) but there I learned I would have to make a trip to Winchester to file in Clark County.  So when Mom was in town we made the trip and it cost $91 for any clerical legal fees and for them to serve her.  Soon enough we got word that she had been served and that our court date was on December 9th.  I got word of the court date through the mail and was going to try and keep it from my mom because I wanted to show that I was capable of handling this on my own.  I felt like if I showed up in court without my mom being there then Robbi would realize that this was my deal and that I didn't need “mommy” there to hold my hand or to influence my decision to proceed.  But I wasn't totally on my own, I had a caregiver, Les, who had helped me put together some transcripts of the texts and he also agreed to come with me to court.

For some reason I felt really nervous about going to trial even though those who knew the situation and what I had in terms of evidence told me I had nothing to worry about.  Another crucial document I had was a print-out from my online account statements of the $75 money order that Robbi had paid me.  This proved that she owed me because if she didn't, why would she have paid me directly!  If anything affected  me being able to sleep I felt like it was a big deal because I had never been to court to testify against anyone and it didn't help that it was my cousin I was suing.  I was still in utter disbelief that it had come to this but you gotta do what you gotta do and I felt like I had to send the message that this shit would not stand.  Just because I'm in a wheelchair if people think they can fuck with me without recourse they have another thing coming.  What's right is right and I was in the right so I thought, justice will prevail!

The day of our trial finally came and I felt like a zombie because I couldn't sleep the night before.  Our hearing was slated to begin at 10am so I had to be up well ahead of that to handle my morning business, get ready and eat a little something before we left at 9.  I had made arrangements for one of my caregivers to come wake me up at 7:30, help me onto my portable commode and take care of all my hygiene stuff so I'd be ready to go with one of my other caregivers.  I can move when I really need to, which was in accordance with my mom saying, "You know you can't be late, right?  If you are you know the judge will rule in Robbi's favor and there goes all the money we paid just to file the claim and you can forget about ever getting any of that $325 back!"  I swear you would think it was my mom's money and not money that was set aside for me to pay for supplemental care beyond what Medicaid covered.  Nonetheless, I finished getting ready a few minutes after Les got there, he helped me load in the van and we left just a few minutes after we had planned.

I don't really feel like going into much detail about the trial specifically because all the "evidence" Robbi presented was fake.  If you haven't ever been to small claims court before the judge orders both parties out into the lobby for 10 minutes or so to try and settle the dispute amongst themselves.  When Robbi and I (and Les) went out to the lobby I already knew that nothing would be accomplished because I would not settle for anything but a solemn apology along with her absolute sincerity with working out a payment plan for $325 plus an additional $91.  I wouldn't even bother with the $84 punitive damage sum I had figured up on my own.  This was the first time I had talked to Robbi AT ALL in nearly 11 months.  She said that she had spoken with Tim and that he sent her a printout of the bank statement which showed the withdrawal of the $400 and that it undeniably showed the account belonged to him.  She showed me this so matter-of-factly as if this would be it, the pivotal piece of evidence that would have me tuck tail and run (it was only later I found out that document was totally fake; that afternoon I talked to Tim and he said that he had never even spoken to Robbi let alone sent her anything).  Then I told her I had a printout of the money order she had paid directly to me, after my cousin David had gone and spoken with her, and I had the transcripts of all our texts.  But none of it seemed to phase her and she said, "Alright, well I guess if we're really gonna do this let's go, I gotta be at work by 11:30!"  As if she had the right to act like this was time sensitive for her getting to work on time; this whole situation was something she caused!  That's like a cop pulling you over for a minor traffic offense and then rushing you to show your license and registration because he didn't want to be late for the Law Enforcement Lunch at the Lion's Club.

As I said before it was pretty much an open and shut case.  The judge asked me to tell my side of the story then present any evidence I had which Les took up to the bench.  He looked over it quickly then asked Robbi to explain her side then bring forth whatever evidence she had.  While he was taking note of the forms she showed him she explained what he was looking at - a bank statement for the period in question with a record showing the $400 withdrawal and because my Uncle Tim's name was the only name on the account this showed that the money wasn't really mine to begin with. She showed him a picture of a bedbug which was the reason she quit. Yes, I had had bedbugs and they were definitely an enormous pain in the ass to get rid of, but we finally did the right treatments (we tried a few different ones and they are not cheap)!   So while Robbi was showing him these things and explaining the picture the judge looked at her like, what's that got to do with the price of tea in China?  It doesn't, that's exactly right.

Of course the judge ruled in my favor.  Even if my name wasn't on the account, her argument was null.  I had submitted the copy from my bank records showing that she had started to pay me for the loan.  Before he adjourned us Robbi started sobbing because now she was ordered by law to pay me back.  I wish this was truly the end of it but all that did was set the ruling in my favor, because it is March and I still haven't gotten any more payments so the saga continues.  I did however learn a valuable lesson, if you can’t trust family you can’t trust anyone.

*Before  I end this posting I'd like to add my transcripts with Robbi so you may see what the judge had and you can see why he ruled in my favor

These are the only correspondences that I ever had with Robbi regarding the repayment of the $400.00 loan I gave her, Robbi York, the week of Christmas 2015. Each time, it should be noted, that I always started the “conversation” because Robbi never took it upon herself to bring it up.

Sent: 11:21:27 AM 03/13/2016
Jude: “Thinking bout ya on ur mom’s bday L”   (I posted this one to show my compassion because Robbi's mom, April, passed away like 11 years ago now)

Sent: 3:31:44 PM 04/06/2016
Jude: “We need to talk”

Received: 3:49:40 PM 04/06/2016
Robbi: “I don’t have anything to talk about”

Sent: 10:00:34 PM 04/06/2016
Jude: “I politely disagree”

Sent: 10:02:40 PM 04/06/2016
Jude: “Good night”

Sent: 3:12:08 PM 04/08/2016
Jude: “All I ever wanted from u was clear communication, then I expected a little honesty regarding this loan. Now you and Derek are saying I don’t matter after I tried my hardest to help you out. It hurts! L”

Sent: 4:57:21 PM 04/08/2016
Jude: “Straight up, are you going to repay the loan?”

Sent: 6:09:35 PM 04/08/2016
Jude: “Alright??”

Received: 3:29:24 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “I’m not understanding why you keep going round and round about this loan. I have explained a million times where the disrespect started and why we are where we are today. This is pathetic. And to get technical you are right u don’t matter to Derek. I never said one word about that. It also hurts me the way yall have acted since I had to quit because of the bug situation. There is nothing more to talk about. Pretty sad I had to actually block u from facebook because u couldn’t have enough respect to not be disrespectful on my post that had nothing to do with u. Like I said I have nothing else to say. This is over today with the texts and the calls from this point forward. Sorry yall made things turn out so bad!

Received: 8:29:47 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “Have I sent u money? Yes. Enough Jude. Your not hurting for money and I live paycheck to paycheck with 3 kids. U will get what I can give. Done told u this numerous times.”

Sent: 10:01:43 PM 04/09/2016
Jude: “That is for my indefinite caregiving and don’t give me crap about living paycheck to paycheck your taxes were humongous!”

Sent: 10:03:13 PM 04/09/2016
Jude: “Ok jim never received anything so all we got was 75 dollar money order u still owe 325 I know u get thousands back on tax return.”

Received: 10:06:49 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “Lol that has nothing to do with u J later Jude”

Received: 10:07:29 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “And you have thousands in the bank **** really?”

Received: 10:11:07 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “Just stop. As a matter of fact. Ur not getting ur money any faster promise J”

Received: 10:21:50 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “Changing my phone number so have luck texting me all the time now. This is insane.”

Received: 10:23:20 PM 04/09/Robbi: “And no David won’t have my new number neither so don’t bother aggravating him again because there is nothing at all legally he can do just because he is a detective. That is very uncalled for too.”

Sent: 10:27:29 PM 04/09/2016
Jude: “Im done too but dennis and I have your address”

Received 10:31:38 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “That’s great! And I have no trespassing signs in my yard J”

Sent: 11:04:16 PM 04/09/2016
Jude: “Don’t think they apply to law enforcement”

Received: 11:09:29 PM 04/09/2016
Robbi: “Good night Jude J”

Sent: DATE FILE corrupted
Jude: “Pls b prompt and punctual w/ ur payment so I don’t have to contact you anymore”

Received: 10:17:41 PM 04/11/2016
Robbi: “Kiddos are asleep and I am laying in bed. Sorry”

Received: 10:17:47  PM 04/11/2016
Robbi: “What’s up?”

Sent: DATE FILE corrupted, reply received at 11:53:23 AM 4/11/2016
Jude: “Last chance Robbi, don’t be a fool do the right thing please repay your debt: 25 dollars by 4/30, and 50 dollars by 30^th of each month may through Oct. That will satisfy the remaining 325 out of the initial 400 dollar loan. That’s the fairest and most feasible payment plan you’re going to get! Honestly, you’re lucky to have such a cool, compassionate smart and level headed cousin as me J…did I mention handsome! Lol”

Received: 11:53:23 AM 04/11/2016: “I done told u I will make $25 payments a month. Didn’t make one last month because of all the messages and texts. Wasn’t going to make another payment if yall were going to take me to court anyways. But anyhow I will be sending my payment soon. Please make no more texts about this. This has gotten way out of hand. Thanks”

Sent: DATE FILE corrupted,
Jude: “K, here r the terms: mail me a $25 m.o. by the 30^th of each month, april 2016 through may 2017. Do you accept?

Received: 3:11:42 PM 04/12/2016
Robbi: “Yep, that’s $25 a month.”

Sent: DATE FILE corrupted, late April
Jude: “Just a reminder: I am expecting your first $25 m.o. by Saturday! Please call me if you have any issues. J)