Well, here’s a little tale about my most recent fall. It
happened outside a Cracker Barrel about a week ago on my way home from French
Lick Resort. You see, my stepmother’s family lives all spread out across the
country – literally from coast-to-coast – and, rather than have a family
reunion every year, they all get together biannually and go on vacation
together. This year, we went to French Lick Indiana, which was great because it was less
than three hours away. Anyhew, after staying up there for three days we checked
out Wednesday morning, said our goodbyes and hit the road. We drove for
about an hour and then, just before we got to Louisville, we pulled off to eat, having
eaten nothing in our hurried departure. I was with my dad, stepmom and her
little grandson, Hagan. I ate well, had a cup of unsweetened tea and my usual
one cup of coffee. Then before we left I needed to use the
restroom. So my dad went with me, in case I needed help. But everything
went smoothly, no spillage or leakage I washed my hands and we left. The
only thing is, when I unzipped to go I had unbuckled my seatbelt…
We had just walked out the door and my chair had
stopped. It is so old that the power cord is worn—and really broken—that
we have to tape it together so the fastener stays connected. But some
times, it loses contact and I have to play with the connector to get it to come
back on. So that’s what I did. When I bent over to “fix” it, I
tumbled down onto the concrete porch. As soon as I hit the ground, I heard the
lady nearest me shriek, “Oh my god!” Then automatically I was surrounded
by hoards of people offering help and asking me repeatedly if I was okay, not
realizing that I am used to that. On these occasions, I am thankful that
I have such a hard head. I
go down like a champ!
Having been through this many times, I have learned that
while bystanders are helping me up in my chair that it is better not to offer
instructions about how to do it. It doesn’t do any good anyway, they’re
just gonna get’er done the fastest way they can, using brute force and
no consideration. Bless their hearts. No matter how many times I go through
this, it still makes me feel embarrassed. There is no nothing more emasculating
than being scooped off the ground by total strangers.
